When I was younger I first wanted a blue horse, then a pink horse until finally I would have taken a horse in any size colour or breed!
I just loved horses and I remember that as a child I would be very intuitive and natural with them, loving the time I spent with them and being able to know what was the right way to be with them.
My first horse Ebony who is still with me today, is a gorgeous bay mare with a heart of gold. She was not very well trained and at first I had her at a livery farm where everyone felt the need to tell me what I should do with her. My head was so full of other people's voices that I didn't seem able to really connect with Ebony in the way I remembered connecting with horses as a child.
After six months of owning Ebony I finally took her home to a field next to my house, where at last I could be on my own with her. Still though I struggled to know what was right and I felt the pressure to be riding and progressing with Ebony, as if my own value was wrapped up in what we 'achieved' together.
It wasn't until I had a very bad fall and shattered my ankle that I hit the pause button and allowed myself the time and space to think about the relationship I had with my horse. The day that I came off Ebony I could sense a tension in her but a voice in my head told me that I was in charge and I needed to push on regardless of the signs that I was getting from Ebony that something wasn't right.
It was whilst we were heading for home that Ebony tripped and I landed very badly completely shattering my ankle.
The recovery was very long and during those two months of being off my feet I took the time to research and think about what had pushed me to come away from just enjoying horses and I spent hours and hours with Ebony just being around her and taking time to get to know her as a 'person'
Finally the mental battled I had been in with myself as dispersed as I realised that nothing was more important than enjoying my horse and now horses. It was during that time that I started to learn about healing and animal communication, which not only has made me close to my own horses but has helped me to discover about myself in a way I couldn't have imagined.
It might seem strange to be grateful for an accident but it changed the course of my path and my relationship with horses. Whilst I had my cast on I went to the Spanish Breed show and met my next horse Brron there. I might never had met him if I hadn't have fallen and I probably wouldn't have learnt about healing; developed my psychic skills or learnt to start trusting in my own intuition again and allow myself to just be in love with horses again. Taking away the pressure to please and to be accepted by people has allowed me to take my acceptance from the horses instead.
Ebony helped me to remember why I loved horses and my accident allowed me to review my life and my connection with horses.