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I Must Be a Horrible Horse Owner
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I Must Be a Horrible Horse Owner

I'm beginning to think that I must be a really horrible horse owner. Let me explain.

I bring my horses in every night and lock them up in stalls. I put their hay in a slow feed net. I have never had my hay analyzed.

I don't treat them for an ulcer every time the flick an ear backwards, nor do I give them magnesium so they must be out of their freaking minds by now.

I ride dressage with a bit, using contact - oh my! Sometimes I jump so their legs must be totally shot.

I started my 3-year old on one horse.

I use the barbaric practice of nailing a shoe on her feet. I once let her go a whole week with only 1 shoe on waiting for the farrier to come out and nail that missing sucker back on.

None of my horses have ever had a custom fitted saddle.

I allow my vet to use sedation so she doesn't get slammed in the head while treating that little cut. Oh yeah, I've never called the vet out because my horse had a little cut.

One of my horses wears a grazing muzzle so I must be starving her to death.

I wear a helmet, boots, and don't allow very small children to stand directly beneath my horses to get that really cute shot, so it only stands to reason my horses must be poorly trained.

I don't feed only the best top notch quality hay. I don't spend hours grooming them every day. I blanket in the winter, and will likely sheet them on chilly rainy days. I don't ever baby talk them. I use a rope halter. I use a regular halter. I trail ride my dressage horses which probably makes me a lunatic because we all know that dressage horses are crazy spooky. My 35-year old mare didn't have a perfect physique so I must have been abusing her and withholding food.

I occasionally put my horses in my front yard.

I usually mount from the left so will probably never be able to get back on my ballistic dressage horse while out on trail if my only option is to mount from the right.

I use electric rope fence, and last but not least, wearing a helmet obviously means that I am invincible and don't need to bother being thorough in my training because after all, I am protected by that hat.

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