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Horse Antics, Jokes, Quotes and Funny Names
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Horse Antics, Jokes, Quotes and Funny Names

Horses are fun to own. Many people find grooming, riding and feeding horses relaxing. Horses bring a smile to the faces of owners for many reasons. Here are just a few of them. 

Horse Antics:

  • A teenage girl bragged to a friend that in her five years of horse riding, she had never fallen from a horse. She stepped on the block to mount the horse and with a foot in the stirrup jumped with a little too much force. The teenager landed on her backside in the exact spot where the horse had relieved himself minutes prior. Yes, her friend was rolling in laughter and it is told that the horse appeared to snicker!
  • While the family was performing barn chores, a toddler began to cry. Each family member remarked, “stop crying,” or simply ignored the toddler. Apparently, the family’s trusted mare had enough of the toddler crying. She walked up behind the toddler and gently tapped the toddler with her muzzle. The toddler immediately stopped crying. The family stood in the barn with mouths open wide until the dad said, “I guess we have a new babysitter!”

Funny Horse Quotes:

  • Adlai E. Stevenson II, “It is hard to lead a calvary charge if you think you look funny on a horse.”
  • W.C. Fields, “Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.”
  • Tom Dorrance, “When I hear somebody talk about a horse or cow being stupid; I figure it’s a sure sign that the animal has somehow outfoxed them.”
  • H.R.H. Prince Phillip, “A horse which stops dead just before a jump and thus propels its rider into a graceful arc provides a splendid excuse for general merriment.”

Jokes:

  • What is the proper leg length for a horse to be considered for racing? Long enough to reach the ground.
  • What is the difference between a race horse and a duck? A race horse goes “quick” and a duck goes “quack!”
  • What do you name a mare that only goes out at night? Nightmare
  • Why did the colt purchase Listerine at the pharmacy? Because it was a little “hoarse!”

All in a Name:

  • Some owners like to be creative when naming a new colt. A little known British race horse briefly shared the spotlight because an announcer said the horse’s name fast. Try pronouncing Hoof Hearted twice in a row fast. Yes, it sounds like, “Who farted?”
  • James Bond is the cool 007 spy working with Miss Moneypenny in a top rated movie series. In the movies, James Bond always gets the girl. Sheikh’notstirred does not appear in the movies and may or may not get the girl. The owner named the horse after a famous line in the movies by Bond concerning directions for his favorite cocktail.
  • Some New Zealander owners played a joke on race announcers with the horse name, Waikikamukau. The name is pronounced, “Why kick a moo cow?”
  • Horse owners sometimes take inspiration from movies. A Star Wars fan named a horse, Maythehorsebewithyou. It is possible the owner had a horse that followed him/her everywhere.

*Photo courtesy of Horse Antics by Arun Surrendar at Flickr’s Creative Commons.

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Leave a Comment

  1. TomCat
    Very funny.
    Log in to reply.
    1. Archippus
      Thanks TomCat! Glad that I was able to make you laugh!
      Log in to reply.
  2. pftsusan
    pftsusan
    So very cute.
    Log in to reply.
  3. DonnaJohnson1
    I like this. Very funny.
    Log in to reply.
    1. Archippus
      Thanks Donna! Your support is appreciated!
      Log in to reply.
  4. Randolp
    Thank you for sharing
    Log in to reply.
    1. Archippus
      Thanks for voting Randolph!
      Log in to reply.
  5. BJConnell
    Love this article
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